If you have ever held a piece of goose poop...

If you have ever held a piece of goose poop then you know that it is not like normal bird poop. This is mainly because you can hold goose poop as opposed to it running down your fingers. You know that it's really light and if dry, will crack apart like a Cheeto. It looks like a cylindrical piece of dirt, much like the little chapstick-size dirt clods left over on a lawn after aeration. In fact, if you have ever held a goose poop it was probably because you mistook it for one of those little dirt clods. And you rolled it around in your fingers and broke it apart and wondered why that little piece of dirt was so weightless and airy. And then you looked on the ground and pondered why some of the little clods were brown and green but others were also more of a black and white in color. You looked over at your kid inspecting those same nuggets with his tiny fingers and then you asked your husband why they were all different colors. In the same moment that your husband looked at you like you had lobsters crawling out of your ears, you began to notice the hundreds of geese roaming the grounds of Mount Vernon and you realized that George Washington probably never aerated his lawn. You both turned to your kid and, in unison, yelled "Drop the goose poop!"

Then again, if you haven't ever handled goose poop, you might not be paying special attention to the space underneath your fingernails every time you wash your hands (five days later) or double checking to make sure the Avian Flu hasn't reached North America yet.

I sure am.